Q: Is it going
to be hard to watch week after week hoping you could’ve lived
just a little longer to get a better story?
A: Oh, I’m not off the show just yet. I’ll
be around all season. They’ll keep referring back to the day
I was killed and telling more and more of what happened between
the time I talked to Holly and the time I was actually murdered.
Q: That’s
not bad. You’ve got a job for this season on a hit television
show.
A: But, we won’t learn anymore about the
character. I just keep playing the same half hour over and over
again. There’s no challenge in that for an actor. I think
they killed me off way too early. There’s so many directions
they could’ve taken my character in. Come Emmy time, there’ll
be no nomination for Patrick Parrot.
Q: Who do you think
should have been murdered instead?
A: Oh I don’t know, maybe Peter (Panda, Doctor
Paco Panda). He’s not necessary. I don’t know.
Why base a series around a murder mystery anyway? That’s just
so dumb. It’s not a cop drama. I’m surprised the public
likes it. I think the story’s pretty weak.
Q: Who else on
the show is only on a one-year contract?
A: Everybody. The producers had no idea the show
would be such a hit. I mean, who would’ve thought that 12
whole people would’ve tuned in for the first episode? So everyone’s
just got a one-year contract right now. But that doesn’t stop
them from spending money like they’ve got a multi-season contract.
After the ratings came back high, half the cast went out and got
plastic surgery. Wait until you see the new faces in the third episode.
Q: Who got plastic
surgery?
A: Mike (Monkey, Marty Monkey) and Louisa
(Lamb, Lily Lamb).
Q: Don’t
you think they’ll be upset that you told us that?
A: Screw them.
Q: Our readers
will assume that you’re a little bitter about being written
off the show.
A: Hey, I’m a professional. I’ll do
whatever, no matter how crappy as long as they’re paying me
for it, but it’s not written anywhere in my contract that
I have to like the story. I’m one of the best actor’s
out there. If they want to waste my talent on a throw-away role
like Pinky Parrot or whatever the hell his name is, screw them.
Screw them if they want to waste their time on Sir David (Dog, Doctor
Dalton Dog) or Bianca Lamb, Queen of Broadway. They all suck
and they’re wasting my talent.
Q: If you're on
a one year contract, is it going to take all season to find your
killer?
A: I have no comment on that or whatever.
Q: The rumors are
rampant that you’ve been dating Geri Hallwell. Set the record
straight here. Is that true?
A: I don’t care to discuss that.
